Penny's Little World

I was in despair for the past couple years, wondering if I'll ever get to see this movie because I couldn't get hold of a copy anywhere.  Thankfully, a friend of mine who should be commended for her resourcefulness gave me a copy.  NBI should lick her flip-flop clad feet because she can find anything anywhere.  Anyway, now that I've finally seen it, I learned an important thing:

I SHOULD'VE REMAINED IN DESPAIR.

I have plenty of gripes for this godforsaken 119-minute movie.  That's one hour and nineteen minutes of my life that I couldn't get back.  Hell.  First off, there is no plot.  However, there is a lot of pouting, man-wrestling on the beach and awkward contemplations on life.  Pouting and lots of eye make up does NOT make a movie.  There was also an unveiling of a mural.  I ask myself, WHY?  How does this help me understand anything?

This flick is as confusing as the once-a-week "UKAY-UKAY" in Talisay.  What exactly was it? Yakuza movie? Vampire movie? A pile of dog turd? Who the fuck knew?  There was not enough crime and underworld immorality to make it an effective YAKUZA movie.  Certainly not enough vampirism to give me a freakin' heart attack.  There was even no vampire-hunts-the-mortal sort of thing you would usually encounter in any vampire stories.  I read a lot of Anne Rice and Kenyon so I could pretty much be considered a black-belter on this sort of thing.

And what the hell is up with Kei? Don't want to get shot at because the bullet stings?  You're a blood-sucking immortal vampire, stop being a whiny bitch! There were only four vampire victims in the entire length of the film. What's wrong with these Japanese vampires anyway? Are they suffering from anorexia? First was Vampire Hunter D, then Alucard and now Kei?! Suck goddamned blood and reflect later!   

The movie does a lot of skipping as well.  We see the young Sho save the vampire and suddenly at the blink of the on-screen flash, they're older, getting shot at and stays in a semi-posh apartment.  Suddenly, there were tears and hugs and you get somewhat embarrassed.  By now you'd be wondering if they'd make out.  When they didn't, you get confused.  They only have one bed in the apartment anyway so this would make you wonder. Before you could recover, suddenly it was a 6 months later.  I'm all for fast-pacing but fuck! this is TOO much.  What the fuck happened in between all this time?  What? What?

Takahisa Zeze, the director of this piece of trash is originally of the Pink School of filmmaking .  And by Pink School, I meant PORN. So I should not be surprised if the movie is plot-less.  Hell, you don't need those in porn.  If you have a dick and a cunt, then you're all set.  It's really a pity because he could've done a lot of exploration on this film because it has an interesting concept.  I mean come on, a Vampire and a Yakuza?  It should kick ass!

Well, if Zeze thought he could make me sit through this entire shit because he got HYDE to play Kei, then HE IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.  I watched the whole thing because of him, even if his character is an irritating whiny bitch.  Gackt was a disappointment though.  He can't act and his contacts irritates my eyes.  He looked like a deranged "MATRONA".

By the way, ZEZE, if you're going to give just one line to a character in your movie, please come up with something better than the ultimate CHEESY LINE:

"CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?"

Geez...I would not recommend this to anyone. Well, unless you're a fan of Hyde and Gackt.  Maybe you'd sacrifice a portion of your life just like me and watch this shit.  To paraphrase the badass Harry Callahan:

GO AHEAD, RUIN YOUR DAY!

Here's another HYDE to justify my prolonged agony...